Journals59
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uh i'm alive here's a meme
6 min read
i''m a little bit uhh...judgementally impaired? so i think it is a good idea to do this lol
feel free to catch me up on what's changed and where you are in life at the moment if you see this and remember me.
i still really love and remember you guys, i just never have the time or energy to talk to anyone online mostly
stole from Iawrence who is still cool in my book
1. What's your full name?
fuck i don't know what i want to be called anymore lol
jamie is fine i guess
2. How old are you?
193. Do you have any different blood in you?
the hell is that
uh i'm latinx and leave it at that
5. Do u like vampires?
ok i guess lol6. What the worst anime you have watched?
um! i don't know!7. When were you born?
novembder 108. What is your favorite legendary dog ? (entei, raikou, suicune)
I liked Suicune best for a long time but for some reason i feel like more of an Entei guy now9. What is your favorite anime(s)?
kino's journey still has a place in my heart!
10. What colour do u hate?
none really11. Do u have a dirty mind?
i really really used to LOL but it's pretty tame nowadays probably the depression
12. Have you ever done something dirty?
yeah i guess
13. Have you every done dirty stuff over webcam?
nah man14. Have you ever drunk blood that wasn't yours?
no
15. Have you ever daydreamed about someone recently?
i haven't had a decent daydream in a long while, actually. even though daydreaming used to be a pretty major part of my life.
16. What is your favorite animal?
cats and dogs and rodents. it makes me smile to see a dog walking down the street no matter what usually
17. Have you ever had sex before?
ddoooooooooont ask me this
i am embarrassed to be so old and not have doen it
but no
18. If you could have a super power what would it be and why?
to stop and start time as i pleased. i could do a lot of neat stuff that way
19. Have you ever lost someone you love and care about?
no, aside from like...pets. i dread the day(s) i'll lose my loved one(s). it'll crush me. i wont want to live anymore after that
20. Have you ever fantasized about someone recently?
susan sarandon in rocky horror picture show
21. Would you kiss someone of the same sex as you?
ok
22. What are you wearing right now?
fuckin ralph lauren pajamas. my friend gifted them to me because they don't fit her LOL. someone probably gifted them to her before
23. Do you have any piercing?
Just my ears
24. Do you want a tattoo & if so what of ?
yes i want a honeybee. bees are cute and i like them. also a commie symbol
25. Why did you join Deviantart?
holy smoke i forgot/. i joined in like middle school, on my old account. i think my best friend's brother told me about it
26. What is your favorite studio ghibli movie?
Howl's Moving Castle (that's Lawrence's answer but MINE TOO!!! )
27. What is your favorite food?
grilled cheese
or chicken over rice halal food
or falafel
or pizza
or mac and cheese (like my grandma makes- everything else is mediocre in comparison, to me)
or any sweets especially cake and other pastries
28. What is your favorite drink?
idk i like milkshakes i think.
29. Do you love or have a crush on someone?
haha probably
30. Would you love to be a kid and never get old?
i don't think. maybe i would since i'm scared of dying
and if i dont do my responsibilities no one can get mad at me
31. Do you have skype or a email address?
you need an e-mail to sign up for this site......
32. Do you love the night sky?
it's nice
33. Do you love to walk along a beach or lake?
refreshing
34. What type of milk do you like ? (eg skimmed, semi-skimmed, whole, soya, goat's)
soy is usually ok. or almond milk. i usually have to use these most of the time. i'm not just being extra and frivolous lol
35. Where would you love to live?
honestly? somewhere in the suburbs. or...nevermind
36. Where do you wish u was right now?
with my friend that maybe i ..NEVrmind i keep having to stop myself from saying too much LOL
37. If you could have any animal as a pet what would it be?
MY CATS
38. If you won the lottery what would you do?
split it amongst my closest friends SERIOUSLY
39. Whats your favorite TV show?
uhhh Preacher is fun
41. What is your idea of a perfect date?
take someone pretty out for coffee. make them laugh (on purpose)
make outttttttttttttt and get cuddles
42. Name something your ashamed of doing?
ha ha ha
43. What is your favorite type of pizza?
CHICKEN BACON RANCH
44. What is your clic? (eg goth, emo, jock, mosher,)
todd rundgren voice I'M IN THE CLIQUE
45. What is your favorite weather?
cool enough for long sleeves and/or sweaters. rainy or sunny. not too windy, if at all
46. Do you have any real brothers/sisters?
no
47. Have you met someone famous?
some pro wrestlers lol
and some like.... F-- list famous peeps
48. What is your worst lesson at school?
high school can suck my ass
49. If the person you love came to you and got down on one knee and asked you to marry them what would u do?
W H A T50. What would you do if this was your last day on earth?
cry probably. i'd want to be around my loved ones especially my friendy friend that i love more than anyone or anything on the planetJoin the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
who here still alive
2 min read
i'm very sleepy
today is thanksgiving / indigenous peoples' day so be good and have fun....somehow
how are things going? i know for me it's pretty crazy. like at the start of the semester i just wanted it to end, but now, it's ending and i'm incredibly sad. mostly because i'll miss my favorite professor who's become my favorite person over the past few months. he probably already has been (i took a CollegeNow course with him when i was still in high school if i mentioned that before)
and i've actually made some really nice friends. there aren't very many, and i'm not particularly close to anyone except maybe one girl but i still love them. i'm sad to probably be losing contact with them all. i really love my college. i'm glad i chose to go there
winter break is a whole month and i won't see my favorite person for that whole time
i'll probably cry on the last day of class. i haven't loved anyone so much in my life. i owe him everything
i
i should sleep but only after i do my response essay and lift for a while
i;m going to see some of my high school friends tomorrow i havent seen them since graduation!i think
xoxoxoxo
tell me how things are going with you!!!! :~)
i'll read everything!!!
today is thanksgiving / indigenous peoples' day so be good and have fun....somehow
how are things going? i know for me it's pretty crazy. like at the start of the semester i just wanted it to end, but now, it's ending and i'm incredibly sad. mostly because i'll miss my favorite professor who's become my favorite person over the past few months. he probably already has been (i took a CollegeNow course with him when i was still in high school if i mentioned that before)
and i've actually made some really nice friends. there aren't very many, and i'm not particularly close to anyone except maybe one girl but i still love them. i'm sad to probably be losing contact with them all. i really love my college. i'm glad i chose to go there
winter break is a whole month and i won't see my favorite person for that whole time
i'll probably cry on the last day of class. i haven't loved anyone so much in my life. i owe him everything
i
i should sleep but only after i do my response essay and lift for a while
i;m going to see some of my high school friends tomorrow i havent seen them since graduation!i think
xoxoxoxo
tell me how things are going with you!!!! :~)
i'll read everything!!!
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another hiatus //edit MAYBE
3 min read
--original, August 26th, 2016--
it kind of sucks that i'm leaving as soon as i got back, but yesterday i started my first year of college
as someone who has battled with severe social anxiety for his entire life, this is already not feeling good
insanely scared and already feel like dropping out
dont know what my motives are anymore
i feel like the last of my kind honestly. i wish that i could change and know what to say and be able to even speak in class without being jittery and sweaty and afraid afterwardss] cannot do much either
i think that i am afraid of other people which is why i have trouble liking them for very long
i feel like a different fucking species of human.
i dont know what to
i
going to meet up with a friend today but all i want to do is research something and sleep all day
took too manyy benadryl on tuesday (only 125mg lol i'm a fucking pussy) and was hard to open my eyes, but it was the best compared to how i am feeling right now
i'll be okay. this will just take some getting used to. just feeling down right now, but eventually will stop being a pussy and bury all of my feelings like last year. i think that if i believe that none of this is real i'll survive it
hope everyone in school is faring better than i am
i am ok i just needed to vent
it's okay
love you all
see you soon, hopefully
---------------------------------------------
August 30th, 2016
things are getting easier
feels like i will jinx it if i tell you i am feeling a lot more motivated after starting my philosophy classes on monday.
learning little tricks like always having my headphones on. keeps me a little distant and in my own head. helps me to feel less afraid and overwhelmed BY FAR. college is becoming a lot more pleasant thanks to this
also, have regained some of my social skills from highschool. slightly annoyed to have to start "acting" again, but i am doing well enough with other people thanks to it. i think i have two friends. do not spend any time out side of class with them though. after philosophy 170 on m/w or sociology on t/th, i am a very lonely boy.
i actually don't mind it! spend a lot of time aimlessly walking on and off campus. also been roaming my neighborhood when i get home early. always end up in circles though. starting to worry that i'm in an environment like the matrix that isn't real, and there is really no place to go except for that loop. scary.
anyways,
currently have a lot of free time, but never really want to come home, so i still am having a lot less time online than i am used to.
in the next week or so, i'll tell you whether i am going to stay active on here or if i will need to take another long break from this site.
hope everyone in classes , high school or college (or trade school! was considering it) is having a good and fulfilling time.
if you are scared, hang in there. just a week ago, i thought this shit was going to be the death of me.
it kind of sucks that i'm leaving as soon as i got back, but yesterday i started my first year of college
as someone who has battled with severe social anxiety for his entire life, this is already not feeling good
insanely scared and already feel like dropping out
dont know what my motives are anymore
i feel like the last of my kind honestly. i wish that i could change and know what to say and be able to even speak in class without being jittery and sweaty and afraid afterwardss] cannot do much either
i think that i am afraid of other people which is why i have trouble liking them for very long
i feel like a different fucking species of human.
i dont know what to
i
going to meet up with a friend today but all i want to do is research something and sleep all day
took too manyy benadryl on tuesday (only 125mg lol i'm a fucking pussy) and was hard to open my eyes, but it was the best compared to how i am feeling right now
i'll be okay. this will just take some getting used to. just feeling down right now, but eventually will stop being a pussy and bury all of my feelings like last year. i think that if i believe that none of this is real i'll survive it
hope everyone in school is faring better than i am
i am ok i just needed to vent
it's okay
love you all
see you soon, hopefully
---------------------------------------------
August 30th, 2016
things are getting easier
feels like i will jinx it if i tell you i am feeling a lot more motivated after starting my philosophy classes on monday.
learning little tricks like always having my headphones on. keeps me a little distant and in my own head. helps me to feel less afraid and overwhelmed BY FAR. college is becoming a lot more pleasant thanks to this
also, have regained some of my social skills from highschool. slightly annoyed to have to start "acting" again, but i am doing well enough with other people thanks to it. i think i have two friends. do not spend any time out side of class with them though. after philosophy 170 on m/w or sociology on t/th, i am a very lonely boy.
i actually don't mind it! spend a lot of time aimlessly walking on and off campus. also been roaming my neighborhood when i get home early. always end up in circles though. starting to worry that i'm in an environment like the matrix that isn't real, and there is really no place to go except for that loop. scary.
anyways,
currently have a lot of free time, but never really want to come home, so i still am having a lot less time online than i am used to.
in the next week or so, i'll tell you whether i am going to stay active on here or if i will need to take another long break from this site.
hope everyone in classes , high school or college (or trade school! was considering it) is having a good and fulfilling time.
if you are scared, hang in there. just a week ago, i thought this shit was going to be the death of me.
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i stole this meme
11 min read
thank u Iawrence you're the coolest guy i know
1. what is your favourite plant?
any plant that looks edible but isn't actually edible. cacti are also nice i had a lot of photos of cacti from my photography class but they all got deleted when my last laptop got REKT :')))))))))))
My dad, my friends, and the people I 'like' are also on this list of course.
5. talk about your crush or someone you love.
6. what is your favourite dog breed?German Shepherds are nice I agree!!! I also love bull terriers.
7. write a short story or poem about what your favourite season feels like to you.spring is the most hopeful season for me. does not feel very poetic though
8. what are your favourite names?
11. do you prefer the beach or the mountains?
12. indoor gardens or outside gardens?
13. do you like long hair or short hair?
14. what is your favourite childhood memory?the summer after 4th grade. i spent almost every day with my best friends :'+) some of the fondest memories i have
15. what is the dreamiest/most surreal thing that has ever happened to you?THE BEACH THING I DESCRIBED!!! also driving on a highway waaaay early in the morning. going to the airport as a kid to see my grandmother off. doubting reality on a trip home from washington dc (that trip was AWFUL but free so nothing of value was lost).
16. where do you feel time stop?whenever i don't want it to
18. are you pro freckle?
19. what is your favourite thing right now?
philosophy stuff? and music, true crime (researching it; i am not an actual criminal LOL), cats
20. what is your hidden talent? (example: memory, double joints, etc.)
21. what is the best dream you've ever had?"_____ I HAD A DREAM ABOUT YOU LAST NIGHT!!!!
I told the person about it in an e-mail. :'+) a fairly recent one !
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22. are you a good plant owner?
23. what is your favourite article of clothing?my dark blue shirt, maybe. it's from H&M (they make XS men's clothing so i am very happy with them) and it's a short sleeve button down. also my bauhaus t-shirt, which is fairly new. my partner bought it for me
OH and my xiu xiu t-shirt!!! the first thing i bought for myself with my redbubble paycheck
24. how many languages do you know?
25. what is your dream vacation?
26. do you believe in zodiacs/horoscopes?
27. if you could have any superpower, what would it be?to make a sort of tangible hologram of myself so i could pretend to be asleep at home and then sneak out at night and go to sick concerts and roam the streets!!!!! that would be THE BEST i'd be out all night every night! livin it up! getting laid! (????!)
28. who is the most unproblematic person you know?still smiling at the fact that i was mentioned here. thank u ros :->
i would say my friend karla is the most unproblematic. a genuinely good and moral person. very supportive of me and our friends. very accepting and open minded and although she is shy like me, she stands up for the people she loves and it is so lovely
29. do you know how beautiful you are?
30. what is your favourite feeling?
when i'm happy
31. what is your favourite cold drink?
32. what is your favourite hot drink?
33. what has been the highlight of your week?
34. who are your favourite tumblrs?
35. what are your favourite sounds?
the sounds of subway trains approaching/leaving, industrial/construction sounds, rolling waves, nice records, cats purring, rainfall, bird calls, shoes on gravel, thunder
36. what is your aesthetic of choice?
simple kitchen knives, cold temperatures, the shadows of trees on the horizon, pale gray skies, whiskey in a glass, broken objects, dirt and grime
37. if you could spend a day with anyone, who would it be?
38. do you like anons? why or why not?
39. what is the nicest thing someone has ever said about you?
40. list the top five things you love about yourself or your life.this is...different hahahaha!!! i'll really have to think about this one.
1. i have a home and have everything i need materially. not struggling financially
2. i don't think that i am better than anyone else
3. i am pretty good at writing and it's something i enjoy
4. i am able to love strongly without becoming hopelessly attached
5. i am bi, shy, nerdy, semi-goth, and quiet, and apparently some people are into that!!! wish me luck w/ cute gurls in college please ;_;
41. have you ever seen the ocean?
1. what is your favourite plant?
any plant that looks edible but isn't actually edible. cacti are also nice i had a lot of photos of cacti from my photography class but they all got deleted when my last laptop got REKT :')))))))))))
2. do you believe in aliens?
the universe is so infinite. i think they definitely have to exist. there is so much out there that we don't know about. that we might never know about.
3. name three artists ( musical or art ) that have inspired you or impacted you.
Xiu Xiu gave me a band to relate to and taught me to feel openly and fearlessly last year. It was a good time but unfortunately this year undid all of my progress in a lot of things. Makes me sad to think about, so I'm going to move on to the next question.
4. who are your favourite people in the world?
I really believe that my mother is my favorite person. At least right now. I've been feeling really shitty about myself and our relationship but she has been incredibly kind and patient with me. My dad, my friends, and the people I 'like' are also on this list of course.
5. talk about your crush or someone you love.
I'm not good at relationships either. I don't think I want to ever date someone again after the summer is over. I'd much rather be super close to people, as Ros mentioned. I'd also much prefer a FWB deal or a one night stand to something involving the emotional responsibility of a relationship. Commitment scares me real bad
this year has been exhausting and full of regrets and guilt
Right now I like a girl I've referred to as K.D. on here before. She thinks everything I do is cute, and it makes me laugh. If we ever slept with each other, she'd probably pick up on my quirks and be like "Are you dissociating??? That's ADORABLE!" and I'd have to marry her.
I do some shitty things, but she doesn't think I'm a shitty person at all. She is the first person to tell me it's okay to be apathetic and not care, which almost made me cry and I never ever cry in public. I love her a lot as a person and one day I'd like to get the courage to walk to her apartment and spend a day with her. I love her eyes and I am captivated whenever I look into them. Her front teeth are crooked. The first time she ever spoke to me, it was to compliment my Led Zeppelin shirt. One time, she kicked a soccer ball directly into my stomach by accident
this year has been exhausting and full of regrets and guilt
Right now I like a girl I've referred to as K.D. on here before. She thinks everything I do is cute, and it makes me laugh. If we ever slept with each other, she'd probably pick up on my quirks and be like "Are you dissociating??? That's ADORABLE!" and I'd have to marry her.
I do some shitty things, but she doesn't think I'm a shitty person at all. She is the first person to tell me it's okay to be apathetic and not care, which almost made me cry and I never ever cry in public. I love her a lot as a person and one day I'd like to get the courage to walk to her apartment and spend a day with her. I love her eyes and I am captivated whenever I look into them. Her front teeth are crooked. The first time she ever spoke to me, it was to compliment my Led Zeppelin shirt. One time, she kicked a soccer ball directly into my stomach by accident
6. what is your favourite dog breed?
7. write a short story or poem about what your favourite season feels like to you.
8. what are your favourite names?
jamie, tabitha, holden, lucy, june, scott, idk i dont really think about this?
9. do you enjoy reptiles as pets? why or why not?
oh i don't know what happens when they are being sold/transported9. do you enjoy reptiles as pets? why or why not?
10. how does art or music make you feel?
typically validated?11. do you prefer the beach or the mountains?
i'm always going to love the beach i think. i love the smell of the ocean and the feeling of sand under my feet. and oh god the sun on my skin. it's like getting kissed all over your face and your shoulders only it's not uncomfortable
OH and standing in the ocean and looking out and all you can see is waves and the horizon. it's the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. oh my god. i was almost fully present for that too. it was so beautiful. FUCK!
OH and standing in the ocean and looking out and all you can see is waves and the horizon. it's the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. oh my god. i was almost fully present for that too. it was so beautiful. FUCK!
12. indoor gardens or outside gardens?
idk? i've been to the NY botanical gardens before (the same place i took my DAMN cacti photos) and it was kind of halfsies? the indoor portions were better in my opinion though
13. do you like long hair or short hair?
i am reminded that i need a trim.
14. what is your favourite childhood memory?
15. what is the dreamiest/most surreal thing that has ever happened to you?
16. where do you feel time stop?
17. what is your favourite breed of cat?
i love all cats. i will protect every cat in existence with my life.18. are you pro freckle?
i love freckles! sometimes i wish i had some, then again, i might look even WHITER than i already do :+(
19. what is your favourite thing right now?
philosophy stuff? and music, true crime (researching it; i am not an actual criminal LOL), cats
20. what is your hidden talent? (example: memory, double joints, etc.)
fuckin nothin
21. what is the best dream you've ever had?
i have to tell you about it because when i woke up i was so happy (and then i had an actual good day!)!!!!
it was so weird bc there was a ___ concert but it was at someone’s house and not like an actual venue ? only me and my friend showed up and after the show you actually walked up to me!!! you recognized me or something and i think the first thing you said to me was “you know...i wanted to tell you in person that i REALLY like your drawings” and i could’ve died right there LMAO
but there’s more!!!! i can’t remember if i asked you for a hug or you asked me but we hugged!!!!!! twice!!!! and i fucking swear it felt real !!!!!!!!!!!!! like it felt so genuine and i felt so happy and cared for. i probably cried!!! honestly..
the strangest part of the dream was that you had an actual pet raccoon???? it was so cute though and you let me pet him hahahaha"
I told the person about it in an e-mail. :'+) a fairly recent one !
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22. are you a good plant owner?
not good enough : (((((( all my windowsill plants died : ((((((((( they were getting so big too!!! i loved them!
23. what is your favourite article of clothing?
OH and my xiu xiu t-shirt!!! the first thing i bought for myself with my redbubble paycheck
24. how many languages do you know?
english and a little bit of spanish. i don't even speak it because i have no self confidence
i am a shame to puerto ricans everywhere i bet. my upstairs neighbor got on my case for that last year :+(
i am a shame to puerto ricans everywhere i bet. my upstairs neighbor got on my case for that last year :+(
25. what is your dream vacation?
california! or some place like athens. i want to go where philosophers might have been 0:
26. do you believe in zodiacs/horoscopes?
to an extent, admittedly. i know it's total bullshit, but hey i've always been a paranoid/superstitious fuck
27. if you could have any superpower, what would it be?
28. who is the most unproblematic person you know?
i would say my friend karla is the most unproblematic. a genuinely good and moral person. very supportive of me and our friends. very accepting and open minded and although she is shy like me, she stands up for the people she loves and it is so lovely
29. do you know how beautiful you are?
yeah, not at all
30. what is your favourite feeling?
when i'm happy
31. what is your favourite cold drink?
water lol
32. what is your favourite hot drink?
"Coffee" (AGREED !!!)
33. what has been the highlight of your week?
listening to nina simone late at night, my xiu xiu cds arriving in the mail, seeing the new ghostbusters movie, getting cheapie tickets to the yankees game (witnessed an actual grand slam!!!! WTH). sat at the absolute top row of the stadium too it was really nice. view was surprisingly still decent. great looking down over the edge! vertigo!!!! hahahaha
34. who are your favourite tumblrs?
oh. i guess my mutuals'?
35. what are your favourite sounds?
the sounds of subway trains approaching/leaving, industrial/construction sounds, rolling waves, nice records, cats purring, rainfall, bird calls, shoes on gravel, thunder
36. what is your aesthetic of choice?
simple kitchen knives, cold temperatures, the shadows of trees on the horizon, pale gray skies, whiskey in a glass, broken objects, dirt and grime
37. if you could spend a day with anyone, who would it be?
Someone I know only from online. Or my favorite musician
38. do you like anons? why or why not?
Tumblr???????? hahahaha!!! i don't really get any anons. if they have nice things to say, i would probably like them though.
39. what is the nicest thing someone has ever said about you?
i forget? i never believe these things anyway
uhhhhhh at some point kestril told me she feels comfortable talking to me. and ros told me i have a talent for understanding emotions. my friend nav said he learns a lot from me and i make him smile and i'm his best friend.
idk though because sometimes i'm just not nice. i want to change and i think i always apologize but i never get better and i never make it better and i wish that somehow i could
it's incredibly sweet of people to say these nice things about me if they are really being genuine though
i guess i'm so distrustful that i spoil everything for myself
bleh this one got too personal hahaha
uhhhhhh at some point kestril told me she feels comfortable talking to me. and ros told me i have a talent for understanding emotions. my friend nav said he learns a lot from me and i make him smile and i'm his best friend.
idk though because sometimes i'm just not nice. i want to change and i think i always apologize but i never get better and i never make it better and i wish that somehow i could
it's incredibly sweet of people to say these nice things about me if they are really being genuine though
i guess i'm so distrustful that i spoil everything for myself
bleh this one got too personal hahaha
40. list the top five things you love about yourself or your life.
1. i have a home and have everything i need materially. not struggling financially
2. i don't think that i am better than anyone else
3. i am pretty good at writing and it's something i enjoy
4. i am able to love strongly without becoming hopelessly attached
5. i am bi, shy, nerdy, semi-goth, and quiet, and apparently some people are into that!!! wish me luck w/ cute gurls in college please ;_;
41. have you ever seen the ocean?
yes & i love(d) it.
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meme lol
11 min read
friendly reminder that i'm still doing poetry requests...just sayin
1) Name:
5) Nick Name(s):
77) Your dream car:
1) Name:
James
2) Name backwards:
Semaj
WAIT
NO
THAT'S THE SAME NAME AS THE MEAN PRINCIPAL FROM ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. she yelled at me once and i cried walking home :+)
WAIT
NO
THAT'S THE SAME NAME AS THE MEAN PRINCIPAL FROM ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. she yelled at me once and i cried walking home :+)
3) Were you named after anyone?:
Captain Kirk, no lie
4) Does your name mean anything?:
"A classic boys' name derived from the Hebrew name Jacob. It means "supplanter," one who follows. In the 17th century the Scottish king James VI inherited the English throne, becoming the first ruler of all Britain, and the name became much more popular."
5) Nick Name(s):
Frost, Smut Rag (don't ask)
6) Screen Name(s):
Frost?
7) Date of Birth:
November 10th
8) Place of Birth:
New York
10) Current Location:
^^same
11) Sign:
Scorpio sun, Leo moon
12) Religion:
Agnostic Thiest
13) Height:
short :^(
14) Weight:
:^(
15) Shoe Size:
8
16) Hair color:
black
17) Eye color:
black
18) What you look like:
goth queer™
19) Innie or Outie:
innie
20) Righty, Lefty, ambidextrous:
righty, but dad tells me i might have really been a lefty before he "corrected" my left handedness as a kid
21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other:
bi B^)
22) Best friend(s):
i have a few
23) friend you trust the most:
idk? probably someone online. or summer
24) Best friends {your sex}:
well,
25) Best friends of the opposite sex:
weeeeeeeeeell...
26) Best Bud(s):
what's going on? this is super repetitive
27) Boyfriend/Girlfriend:
yeah i'm taken for now but ~college~ is it for us
we'll still be best friends though (something that is imperative to him, and yes, us). that's what we started out as.
can't imagine life without him
we'll still be best friends though (something that is imperative to him, and yes, us). that's what we started out as.
can't imagine life without him
28) Crush:
kenia or jamie
kenia or jamie
29) Parent(s):
you want their names or something? hahaha
30) Worst Enemies:
me
>inb4 EDGELORD
>inb4 EDGELORD
31) Favorite on-line Guy(s):
Ros, Nekoyiffer
32) Favorite on-line Girl(s):
Kestril and Zel ((where is she anyway?))
and Zel ((where is she anyway?))33) Funniest friend:
my partner can be REALLY funny when he wants to be
on our date last saturday we loitered in a Staples and he told me stories about his job
i was fuckin dying :' D
on our date last saturday we loitered in a Staples and he told me stories about his job
i was fuckin dying :' D
34) Craziest friend:
in a normal crazy way? my partner
in a fun way? anahi, maybe? she's kind of a party gurl lmfao
my friends are pretty tame
in a fun way? anahi, maybe? she's kind of a party gurl lmfao
my friends are pretty tame
35) Advice Friend:
i don't really go to my friends for advice (or like..anyone hahaha)
i vent mostly? if that counts, then my partner, or navindra, or jamie
i vent mostly? if that counts, then my partner, or navindra, or jamie
36) Loudest Friend:
alondra maybe lol
37) Person you cry with:
i cry with nobody, my guy.
Do You Have...
38) Any sisters:
noooo
39) Any brothers:
nooooooOOOOOOOooooo..
i'm an only child
i'm an only child
40) Any pets:
i have two cats and two turtles
they're all my sweet children.
especially him (ft. my arm, since he was laying down on me) :
they're all my sweet children.
especially him (ft. my arm, since he was laying down on me) :
41) A Disease:
ya know... ya boi james probably has moderate depression and social anxiety, but hey ! it's a life!
42) A Pager:
lmao no
43) A Personal phone line:
no? unless you mean a house number?
44) A Cell phone:
yep. had the same one since 6th grade (college student now) because guess who's terrified of government surveillance!
45) A Lava lamp:
never really wanted one
46) A Pool or hot tub:
that's so bougie
47) A Car:
not one of my own
Describe Your...
48) Personality:
i don't really know. i've built so many personas for myself just to get through the day
if i figure out what i'm trying to hide, maybe i can see some truth in myself
i'd say maybe i'm just really shy. maybe that's all there is to me :^(
my sloan personality is RLUAI if you want to look into that. i think it's pretty accurate
if i figure out what i'm trying to hide, maybe i can see some truth in myself
i'd say maybe i'm just really shy. maybe that's all there is to me :^(
my sloan personality is RLUAI if you want to look into that. i think it's pretty accurate
49) Driving:
i don't drive & i don't want to
i live in the city anyway and there's public transport everywhere. i can get away with it
i live in the city anyway and there's public transport everywhere. i can get away with it
50) Car or one you want:
i don't have or want a car of my own. if i had to i'd get a classic car because i love seeing them. they look really neat. i think i'd go to cuba because i love their system but end up just nerding out over the cars
51) Room:
pretty lame
52) Mmh:
mmmff......
53) School:
*usually* a literal waste of our time
indoctrination
college is ok though
indoctrination
college is ok though
54) Bed:
home within a home
55) Relationship with your parent(s):
pretty decent, there are some unhealthy aspects of course but it could definitely be much much worse
Do You...
56) Believe in yourself:
not at all
not at all
57) Believe in love at first sight?:
no. if someone wants to claim it exists, it's fine, no big deal, but i just don't see it as a genuine thing.
58) Consider yourself a good listener:
not always, but i try when i think i am capable of it ((sometimes i'm too tired or stressed, and if you come to me directly with a problem and expect me to say the right thing...i probably won't. then i'll get a "you're insensitive sometimes" or a "JAMES I'M HURT" but you know, haha. sorry. projecting.))
online friends i'm good with though. i can always respond on my own time so it's much better. i try to always be available, especially to those i am close to. i've gotten a few messages where i'm told i'm very kind and a person that many would feel comfortable talking to. please don't shy away, i'd love to help out
online friends i'm good with though. i can always respond on my own time so it's much better. i try to always be available, especially to those i am close to.
i've gotten a few messages where i'm told i'm very kind and a person that many would feel comfortable talking to. please don't shy away, i'd love to help out60) Get Along with your parents:
yeah
61) Save your e-mail conversations:
hahaha guilty as charged. the ones with jamie. they make me smile. :'3c
62) Pray:
in a weird way, yeah
63) Believe in reincarnation:
i did for a while (i went crazy as a freshie in high school and thought i could be jim morrisson or kurt cobain reincarnated. never again...) but now i'm kind of 'whatever' about it
64) Like to make fun of people:
only if i know for sure the other person can handle it & it's our dynamic
otherwise i limit it to people who annoy me in real life or politicians (i don't have to feel guilty about politicians, because they're pretty terrible people. probably the only ones worse than me out there)
otherwise i limit it to people who annoy me in real life or politicians (i don't have to feel guilty about politicians, because they're pretty terrible people. probably the only ones worse than me out there)
65) Like to talk on the phone:
no way that is actually one of my least favorite things to do
especially if i have to make the call myself
especially if i have to make the call myself
66) Like to eat:
i like chocolate
and vanilla ice cream
and also halal food is nice
and vanilla ice cream
and also halal food is nice
67) Like to drive:
no i'd probably fuck it up and hurt somebody, maybe even me
68) Get motion sickness:
kinda?
69) Eat the stems of broccoli:
yeah?
70) Eat Chicken fingers with a fork:
no that seems kind of odd to me haha
71) Dream in color:
SHE DREAMS IN COLOR
SHE DREAMS IN RED
CAN'T FIND A BETTER MAAAAAAAN- sorry, 9th grade is coming back to haunt me. was a big Pearl Jam fan (still am tbh)
but yeah my dreams are usually pretty normal/vividly colored
SHE DREAMS IN RED
CAN'T FIND A BETTER MAAAAAAAN- sorry, 9th grade is coming back to haunt me. was a big Pearl Jam fan (still am tbh)
but yeah my dreams are usually pretty normal/vividly colored
72) Type with your fingers on home row:
what?
73) Sleep with a stuffed animal:
hahaha! yeah!
What Is...?
74) Right next to you:
my 3DS
75) On the walls of your room:
some posters : Pokemon, a BIG poster of kittens, 10 commandments (it was free....), the front bottoms + other bands Champagne Jam mini-poster, Star Wars: The Force Awakens mini-poster (saw it opening day!)
76) On your mouse pad:
don't use it, but an orange and white kitten
77) Your dream car:
answered this already. a classic car, specifics don't matter bc i know nothing about cars LOL
78) Your dream date:
let me sleep in your bed tbh
pet me like a kitty (SFW tho hahahaha!!!)
pet me like a kitty (SFW tho hahahaha!!!)
79) Your dream honeymoon spot:
implying i'd ever get married
80) Your dream husband/wife:
implying i'd...oh fine. either of my crushes, i guess. if i absolutely HAD to
81) Your bedtime:
whenever, dude
lately it's been around midnight - 1am
lately it's been around midnight - 1am
82) Under your bed:
a bunch of shit i don't have the heart to throw away, but is too old/childish/too much of an eyesore to leave on display
83) The single most important question:
is there a meaning to this life?
what happens after we die?
what happens after we die?
84) Your bad time of the day:
morning
85) Your worst fear(s):
dying, public speaking/humiliation, harming other people
86) The weather like:
it's really HOT! because it's the summer and all
87) The time:
7:05p.m.
88) The date:
August 3rd, 2016
89) The best trick you ever played on someone:
i can't remember
90) The weirdest food or drink that you like:
sushi? idk haha i don't like anything particularly 'weird'
91) Theme Song:
Medicine Bottle - Red House Painters
me 100%. there is no other song i identify with more strongly. but here are the runners up:
Hello From Eau Claire - Xiu Xiu
Green Nail Polish - Told Slant
Pedestrian at Best - Courtney Barnett
Honeysuckle - Xiu Xiu
Awkward - FIDLAR
me 100%. there is no other song i identify with more strongly. but here are the runners up:
Hello From Eau Claire - Xiu Xiu
Green Nail Polish - Told Slant
Pedestrian at Best - Courtney Barnett
Honeysuckle - Xiu Xiu
Awkward - FIDLAR
92) The hardest thing about growing up:
having to present yourself in a false way
93) Your funniest experience:
idk, something new makes me choke up with laughter every other week or so, but then i forget it
i was recently reminded that alondra spanked me twice with a yardstick when i was at school. we were helping with a bulletin board. we were just joking around (she's a christian hetero anyway! LMAO not homophobic though. she knows about me & she's a nice person) but TBH i could've gone for a few more smacks!
nav still laughs at me and it isn't fair
i was recently reminded that alondra spanked me twice with a yardstick when i was at school. we were helping with a bulletin board. we were just joking around (she's a christian hetero anyway! LMAO not homophobic though. she knows about me & she's a nice person) but TBH i could've gone for a few more smacks!
nav still laughs at me and it isn't fair
94) Your scariest moment:
FUCK.
1. being a little kid and hearing arguments in the car and thinking we'd crash and everyone would die / mom would be too mad to eat and i thought she'd die (she's diabetic) and i'd have no one i loved in the world anymore and i'd have to live with people i wouldn't like. (i was scared a lot as a kid, of EVERYTHING. it's no big deal)
2. in 2nd grade when a teacher yelled at me (rightfully, i admit) and i pissed myself (no one noticed!)
3. late night paranoia that someone i was close to would blackmail me or was trying to gain my trust in order to ruin my life (in a sociopathic way). got really desperate and thought about how i'd need to fight for my life...next day was fine
4. "ask them yourself!" or any social interaction i've gone through by myself
5. going to the waterpark and going on this: [link] with my mom's BIG GURL friends. i thought we'd fly off and fall to our deaths...and the ride itself was pretty scary hahhaha
6. having to dance at my mom's BIG GURL friend's wedding :+(((((( still embarrassed :+((((((((((((
7. that DAMN valedictorian speech
FUCK.
1. being a little kid and hearing arguments in the car and thinking we'd crash and everyone would die / mom would be too mad to eat and i thought she'd die (she's diabetic) and i'd have no one i loved in the world anymore and i'd have to live with people i wouldn't like. (i was scared a lot as a kid, of EVERYTHING. it's no big deal)
2. in 2nd grade when a teacher yelled at me (rightfully, i admit) and i pissed myself (no one noticed!)
3. late night paranoia that someone i was close to would blackmail me or was trying to gain my trust in order to ruin my life (in a sociopathic way). got really desperate and thought about how i'd need to fight for my life...next day was fine
4. "ask them yourself!" or any social interaction i've gone through by myself
5. going to the waterpark and going on this: [link] with my mom's BIG GURL friends. i thought we'd fly off and fall to our deaths...and the ride itself was pretty scary hahhaha
6. having to dance at my mom's BIG GURL friend's wedding :+(((((( still embarrassed :+((((((((((((
7. that DAMN valedictorian speech
95) The silliest thing you've ever said:
"I NEED THAT OCTOPUSSY, BITCH !"
96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the someone:
when i was still into flores i wore the shirt he gave me on his birthday
he didnt notice me
ehaha
he didnt notice me
ehaha
97) The scariest thing that's ever happened while with your friend:
THE BUS CONVERSATION
we were tripping w/o drugs!!!!!!!! that's what it felt like!!!!!!!! me and my partner got super emotional and went through intense paranoia and talked about our nihilistic views and our doubts that anything was real
shared a lot of personal things with each other and up to now i've never felt closer to another person as i did that night.
we had a class trip to Washington D.C.
this was back in march last year
we were tripping w/o drugs!!!!!!!! that's what it felt like!!!!!!!! me and my partner got super emotional and went through intense paranoia and talked about our nihilistic views and our doubts that anything was real
shared a lot of personal things with each other and up to now i've never felt closer to another person as i did that night.
we had a class trip to Washington D.C.
this was back in march last year
99) The best feeling in the world:
when you havent gone outside for a long time and you feel the sun on your face...ughhhhhh
that is so good
that is so good
100) 5 people you tag:
nah son
do it if you want! :'+) good mood 2nite!
nah son
do it if you want! :'+) good mood 2nite!
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